No one wants to talk about it, but it’s something we all eventually have to face: our favorite idols enlisting and being away from their groups. New and old K-Pop fans alike, we all go through it at some point or another. Here are ways to cope through getting your favorite idol’s enlistment period.

If you’re new to the world of K-Pop and Korean culture as a whole, it’s important to learn that Korean men must serve in the military usually before the age of 30. The biggest thing to remember is the enlistment period realistically is not all that long. The typical length of time that is required to serve is 18-21 months, and it also depends on what type of service they even enlist for to begin with. Some branches require to serve a little longer than the typical length, but at most it goes up to 24 months of service if it is active duty. There are very few exemptions to enlistment, only going to athletes who have won medals in either the Olympics or Asian Games, and classical musicians or dancers. K-Pop idols are not considered for exemption.

Most of the time when male idols have reached the age and enlist, many do not serve longer than the 24-month period. It’s one of the easiest things to remind yourself of when it comes to the idols from your favorite groups: they aren’t going to be in the military forever! Of course, the feeling of knowing they won’t be around in the group for a good amount of time isn’t one any of us enjoy, but it’s always a good thing to remember that they will eventually come back! One of the easiest ways to cope with how long an idol will be enlisted is starting a countdown to when they come back! After a certain amount of time an idol has been gone, usually fans see few updates and eventually learn about how long they’ll be enlisted. Countdowns make it a little easier to see how much closer it is to when they return.

The updates are also a great way to see how your favorite idol is doing! Photos eventually get released as the idols serve their time, and depending on different things they participate in, there are sometimes videos as well! One of the best examples is SHINee’s Key: when he participated in the military band, a video of him coming out on stage and dancing to about 10 seconds of “Ring Ding Dong” went viral (and it’s easily one of the funniest videos out there). It’s always refreshing to get the few updates we can get, knowing that the idols we love are doing well even when they aren’t performing with their groups.

We all hate knowing it can be almost time for an idol to enlist, but the gentle reminder of knowing they won’t be gone for a super long time is one of the best things to know when they’re gone. Plus, it’s always the best feeling when they do return!