History of K-Pop: Dating as an Idol

Another rumored couple has been allegedly exposed on social media, and fans are convinced the couple in the circulating photo on a late-night stroll holding hands is BLACKPINK’s Jennie and BTS’s V (Kim Taehyung). Whether you are excited about this alleged couple or not, this news has once again sparked another debate on fandom etiquette regarding idol dating and these so-called "dating ban contracts" preventing idols and idol trainees from engaging in any romantic relationships. This month, we will be talking about the dating culture in K-Pop throughout the years.

As fans, we wanted to know everything about our favorite idols. From their favorite colors and foods to what they do and whom they see in their private time off camera. It is natural for fans to be curious about an idol’s private life outside of work and social media. However, when do fans cross the line in regards to finding out what they can about an idol’s personal life?

Dating a Fantasy

K-Pop is no different from any other region’s entertainment industry. Audiences love to hear about the latest drama and gossip about their favorite celebrities. In K-Pop, however, management companies focus heavily on fanservice, particularly in selling the fantasy that fans could have a chance at dating their favorite idols.

There are many opportunities for fans to meet with their favorite groups to interact on a more personal level. There are frequent meet and greets where fans can win a chance to meet and greet idols in person or virtually. In more recent years, idols have spread to the digital world through live streams and mobile app services like bubble for idols to text their fans.

This fantasy of being in a relationship with these idols generates more sales in albums, streaming, merchandise, and concert tickets. This marketing strategy has made fans possessive of their idols, causing dangerous stalking cases and harassment of idols caught dating, especially with another idol. To protect their idols’ image, management companies will include a so-called ‘dating ban’ in their contracts to prevent idols and trainees from dating while signed under their company. This ‘dating ban’ can vary from company to company, but many idols will try to avoid speaking about their romantic lives and state that they will refrain from dating to focus on work and their fans.

Publicity on Idol Romance

While it is common practice for celebrities and public figures to engage in publicity stunts for their professional gains, as the saying goes, any publicity is good publicity. However, that is not the case in the K-Pop industry.

The potential news of idol dating has negatively affected many idols’ careers in the past. Many die-hard fans feel betrayed because their idol has been caught dating in the past. In some cases, idols are forced to go on hiatus due to the amount of backlash they receive from fans who suspect their idols are dating or romantically interested in another idol. Some fans will even protest the removal of idols and boycott groups out of anger. In extreme cases, management companies have kicked idols out of their groups and ended their contracts. The most public dating scandal was the reveal of Cube Entertainment soloist HyunA and PENTAGON's DAWN, who were members of the same unit group, Triple H. The couple announced their relationship on social media in 2018. Following their announcement, their company, Cube Entertainment, announced the couple would no longer be under their management and be removed from the groups they participated in.

In 2013, the Korean media outlet Dispatch began to report on dating news in the Korean entertainment industry. Similar to the United States' TMZ, Korea Dispatch focuses on celebrity gossip and scandals. Infamously, they are known for their new year's tradition of revealing one secret idol relationship to the public with some form of media evidence, such as a picture or video. Some of the most famous couples to have been revealed on New Year's Eve are soloist Rain and actress Kim Taehee (2013), Girls’ Generation’s Yoona and Lee Seunggi (2014), and Blackpink’s Jennie and EXO’s KAI (2019), just to name a few.

Trends and Controversies

The idea of dating in K-Pop is still a sensitive topic among fans and management. In an attempt to normalize idol dating, the Korean broadcasting network MBC aired a reality-variety show called We Got Married in 2008. The show gained a massive amount of attention and viewers until the show’s cancellation in 2017. The premise of the show was to randomly pair idols and other Korean celebrities to get a fake marriage and complete assigned missions. Some famous couples from this show are BTOB’s Sungjae and Red Velvet’s JOY, MAMAMOO‘s Solar and soloist Eric Nam, and SHINee’s TAEMIN and Apink’s Naeun just to name a few. The show faced heavy controversy as fans did not agree with idols participating in the show. Ultimately the show has been canceled with no current plans to return.

Dark oceans are a form of boycotting to express fans’ disagreement or anger towards groups. This is done by turning off light sticks and cheering creating a dark area that makes it look like groups are singing to no audience. This form of fan protest caused extreme distress among idols and other fans. Many groups faced a black ocean with dating rumors being one of the causes of this cold boycott.

In the early days of K-Pop, variety shows and music awards showed idols interacting with each other to attract a larger audience and media attention for idol groups. These shows were successfully popular during the first, second, and beginning third generations of K-Pop. Around this time fandom wars broke out frequently and fans would turn off their light sticks while chanting another group’s name.

As the years went by, there would be less and less interaction with idols of the opposite gender to avoid potential dating scandals and as we are deep in the fourth generation of K-Pop we see idols do anything to avoid each other on camera and create a stiff and awkward setting according to viewers.

Idols Speaking on Dating Culture

Many inside sources, such as idols, staff, and trainees, have spoken about the dating scene in the industry. They have all stated that idols do date each other. There are many alleged methods idols use to meet and date other idols in secrecy.

One of the most reported methods to hide relationships is "the infamous Inkigayo sandwich". Essentially, idols would sneak secret messages like phone numbers inside the sandwiches meant for other groups behind the scenes of the Inkigayo music show in hopes of reaching their crush. The backstage staff has reported that idols would also exchange messengers through those working at these events where groups would perform.

Regardless of the alleged methods of dating, there is no question as to whether or not idols date each other or not. Idols are still humans at the end of the day, and they deserve love just like anyone else.

The Future of Dating in K-Pop

As the years go by and the K-Pop fandom grows, we should expect to hear more idols reveal their relationship statuses and publicly go out on dates without worrying about the paparazzi.

As fans, we must be considerate of an idol’s personal and private life. It is really easy to fall into the rabbit hole of researching every detail of an idol’s life. This means we must understand that idols are still humans and will date like any other person. Companies should also redefine the fantasy they are selling to fans to prevent a toxic and possessive relationship between fans and idols. As we see today, a dating scandal can hurt an idol's and their group's career and image.

Edited by Vivian N.