The Unique Concept of Jeong and Its Power
One of the words that describes the characteristics of Korean people as a community is jeong (정). It is a powerful concept that influences the way Korean society is shaped. Jeong is “a deep connection and emotional bond that builds over time and through shared experiences with other people, places, or things.” In most contexts, jeong is referred to as gounjeong (고운정), which is the emotional attachment and empathy that originates from a positive experience with people, animals, or objects. However, there is a different kind of jeong called miunjeong (미운정), which stems from a negative feeling or experience with people, places, or things over time. Miunjeong is a more complex concept in that it is a pleasant emotion, a closeness that derives from unpleasant or negative experiences. At the end of the day, they are both emotions that are defined as a special connection that is shared between people. Jeong is deeply engraved in the hearts of Korean people, which shapes the Korean social environment, gatherings, and communities to this day.
A Cultural Phenomena
In Korean society, there are little behaviors or statements that people frequently make during the day. However, they are so minor and subtle that many don’t recognize it as subliminal sharing of jeong. These different ways of jeong provide people with sources to open up conversation, build connections, and share feelings and thoughts.
One of the most regularly asked questions, especially in unfamiliar surroundings and people, are things like, “How old are you?," "What school did you go to?," and "Where do you work?” They are very generic questions, mostly used as ice breakers. But when the ice melts and chemistry flows, the questions develop to become more personal, such as, “Do you know this person from this place?” From there on, people find things that they have in common, which instantly make them feel as though their relationship has leveled up compared to when they first met.
An example can be seen in a specific ethnic or cultural community formed in a foreign country. A group of Korean students were eating at a restaurant in Koreatown, Manhattan. These study-abroad students came in for dinner after class. The server, an older woman, gave them extra side dishes and beverages, telling them that they “remind her of her own children.” The students replied to the server with sincere thanks. This short episode is a perfect consequence of shared jeong. The sentiment of jeong especially blooms in an environment where there is a deprivation of certain needs. In the case of these students, it was a sense of home and family as students who were miles and miles away from their own. Or perhaps it was the sense of belonging that people feel every now and then when they are put into a culture that they are not accustomed to. Just during this short period of time, the server and the students subliminally became much more intimate.
Another example is one that is also used in social settings, but most frequently at workplaces. Research shows that the most frequently told lie in Korea is people saying, “Let's grab lunch (or something to eat) some time.” Many times, this statement is used as a way of saying hello or to show good manners. But behind its meaning lies a deeper concept. Having a good meal is a ritual that people enact when they have important matters to discuss. For instance, if you had a fight or disagreement, it is common to invite that person out for a meal as an effort to reconcile. Ideally, those involved in the fight would talk it out and shake it off over a meal. The other way is when there is an event to celebrate, such as birthdays, retirement, resignation, or starting a new job. The person with the good news would buy the meal to share the happy news with his or her friends. The importance of having a meal together is largely in the ritual itself—the act of facing one another and sharing food. The idea is that over a meal, not only do a lot of words travel back and forth, but so do the emotions. And in the end, it is not just the food that they are sharing, but it's the time well spent together.
Miunjeong (미운정)
In the case of miunjeong, the mutual emotions that people express in different ways become a shared affinity. But because they have the same purpose, they are in a rivalry position. As mortal enemies, they spend most of their time hating each other or trying to bring the other person down. However, in the end, they cheer and support each other because they are the only ones who truly understand that desire to achieve that goal and all the hard work that goes behind it. Despite all the negative emotions in the process, miunjeong is built between them—a strong, mutual connection.
The TV series The Producers (2015) plays a scene where two characters, singer and artist Cindy (played by IU) and her celebrity friend Go Ara (played by Go Ara), portray a relationship built upon miunjeong. Go Ara appears at Cindy’s house as her best friend for an interview for a reality TV program. The scene where they exchange contact numbers captures the awkwardness between the two being introduced as best friends. It is very clear that they are not actually close and they don’t even stay in touch. This uncomfortable situation makes a great comedic episode as the two characters “act” in front of the camera. The scene then changes to IU reflecting on the past, reminiscing how they ended up being longtime enemies. But after Go Ara leaves the shoot, she sends a sincere video message to Cindy confessing the similarities she sees between them in how they both lived through difficult times starting a career as child stars. She ends the message saying to keep in touch. After seeing Go Ara’s message, Cindy finally saves her contact number in her phone under the “friend” category. Go Ara and Cindy both saw each other in themselves. They were both put into the harsh world of entertainment at a very young age as celebrities, which made them hypersensitive to other people’s eyes and reactions to their life. This scene is a perfect effect of miunjeong, turned into a positive friendship. At the end of the day, they realize that it is only each other who can fully understand and empathize with what they go through. That shared sentiment creates a bond that is powerful enough to overcome any hatred or rivalry.
The Real Idea Behind Jeong
As hinted in previous paragraphs, jeong deeply relates to the belief that the whole universe is connected and that every person is tied to each other. This is especially true in Korean society, which is reflected culturally in how teamwork and team decisions are considered of the utmost importance. This is a very contrasting idea to the characteristics of most Western cultures, where more importance is given to the freedom of individuals’ decisions, speech, and expressions.
An extreme example of the sense of group can be seen in our current lives. One of them is how Korea responded to the COVID-19 pandemic when it first broke out. In Korea, since the beginning, not wearing a mask and not getting vaccinated has been a taboo. Going out to a party, club, or a social event where social distancing is not possible has been frowned upon. When people are tested positive, their locations and whereabouts from the few days until being tested are tracked and shared with everyone. Those who were at these places where social distancing is practically impossible were mercilessly criticized with comments and reviews on the internet. They were considered inconsiderate and selfish for acting out the way they did when everyone else is trying to restrain themselves to put an end to this solemn situation. When the virus reached the United States, masks were still optional. There was less pressure to consider other people’s opinions about wearing masks. People had flexibility to wear them or not. Korean people’s sensitive reactions are majorly because of a deeply rooted cultural belief that everyone must act in a group or community. The COVID-19 pandemic is not the only example because this sentimentality exists in Koreans’ ordinary everyday lives.
The Side Effects
There is no doubt that jeong is a powerful emotion that helps people to bond, relate, connect, and stick together as a community. It is one of the major driving forces in shaping cultural trends and phenomena in Korean society. However, because there is so much emphasis on team voice and opinion as a group, we must also mention the side effects.
When the consideration for other people’s feelings or thoughts become too severe, it can lead to unnecessary anxiety or stress and even intense competition and jealousy. A survey of Japan, China, and Korea showed that 32% of Koreans answered that “they worried that they would appear silly to other people,” while only 22% of people answered the same from Japan and China. A professor in Seoul National University’s Education department stated that “Korean society […] tends to be less accepting or respected of the personal realm [of a person].” In a society like this where so much pressure is put on other people, it can cause problematic results, especially in education. Instead of wanting to learn to improve themselves, people will only be focusing on doing what others consider as right. Positing information in students like a machine instead of supporting learning through open discussion or welcoming different perspectives can cause more severe problems to students later in life. Growing up in an environment having to always put other people before oneself could lead to failure in forming their own thoughts and opinions. They enter colleges not knowing what they like or what they enjoy. Jeong is a concept that serves a good intention of bondage and connection of people that can make beautiful things happen in the world, when it’s well-balanced with individuals' own voices.
It appears that all things in life, from relationships to political or social activities, need flexibility and balance as the keys to building a happy community. Extremities are never the answer. Let jeong be one of the things to help understand more diverse colors of culture and people—an empowering tool to move the world for the better.