Weddings in Korea: Part 1 Pre-Ceremony
As the weather is warming up and preparing for spring to bloom, many Korean singers, actors, and actresses announced their plans to tie the knot with their loved partners, like Park Shinhye, Son Dambi, Park Jiyeon, HyunA and DAWN. Wedding ceremonies are so precious, even where two people stand before their friends and family and promise to spend the rest of their lives together. While each ceremony is unique and beautiful in its own way, there are certain characteristics and rituals that are only shown in Korean wedding ceremonies both culturally and socially. Because the wedding and the process of planning it in Korea are very complex and very symbolic, they will be discussed as a series of articles. For the first phase, I will share the first things that are considered before the big day arrives.
As in other cultures, the timing of planning for the big day varies by people. Some people say one year is too long. My best friend planned her wedding for only three months in the midst of continuous business trips abroad but still managed to prepare everything for the ceremony. For my wedding, I prepared for six months starting in February of 2020, three of which were from a long distance in the United States. While my husband and I tried to make our wedding as casual as possible, I can confidently say that we had a very traditional ceremony.
When a man and a woman plan a wedding in Korea, a lot of the decision making depends on the woman’s decision. While I have no accurate explanation why that is, wedding planners say that in most cases women have a clearer idea of what kind of design they want for the wedding than men. Personally, I always asked my husband and we’d decide together on everything, but the staff working on it, the planner, the makeup artists, the hair stylists, the dress helpers all go to the woman for feedback regarding every little decision that needs to be made about the wedding.
Step One: Venue Selection
Picking a place to get married is probably the very first thing that needs to be decided because of the availability and timing. Depending on what the couple chooses, the venue can be diverse from the most popular wedding halls and hotels to schools and churches. Selecting a venue indicates that they have selected a date and can officially start to move forward in making this big event really happen.
Selecting a venue comes with deciding on color palettes of the entire hall where they get married. Flower decorations, lighting with chandeliers, and drapes are discussed over multiple meetings with the venue manager. For our wedding, I chose to have it at a hotel and met with the manager a couple days to go over the decorations.
The colors of the flowers change depending on the season. The flower decorations are for the entry of the virgin road (whether it be an arch shape or a half-arch), the center pieces for the tables, the bride’s room, the photo tables, photo booth, and the officent’s stage.
Flower decorations and light decorations in the hall
Photo by: MARY Studio
Aisle entry decoration_half arch
Photo by: MARY Studio
The decorations in the bride’s waiting room are important because that’s where the bride’s guests meet the bride and take pictures with her. It’s like a photo wall for the bride where she takes pictures with her friends and family as a single for the last time.
Bride’s waiting room decoration
Photo by: MARY Studio
The photo table is usually located just outside the hall where the wedding is held. The photo table is literally a table to place framed wedding photos that are taken in advance. Photo tables don't have to have any flowers at all and can just have a simple shelf style look, but we went with the theme of “a rest stop picnic in the forest,” so we used lots of greens and whites with a classic design travel bag and a wood ladder and bench in ours. It also worked perfectly as a casual photo zone after the ceremony with and for guests and friends.
Photo table flower decoration
Photo by: MARY Studio
Lastly, the decorations for the stage where the bride and groom will be wedded by the officiant is the most important part because that is where everyone will be looking during the ceremony. For our wedding, we had white, pink, and green flower color palettes with white floor matched with drop lights in the background. I remember wanting to go for a representation of pure and unconditional love, so we used a lot of white if not pastel-toned colors.
The stage decorations
Photo by: MARY Studio
After the wedding, the flowers are free to take for the guests. Sometimes, there are hotel staff or florists who prepare to wrap up the flowers the guests picked out from the decorations.
Aside from the decorations, it is a courtesy to provide guests with a decent meal. To choose the meal, the couple to be married is invited to do a tasting meal at the hotel. Usually couples use this as an official regroup with each other’s parents to discuss the marriage. This official agreement meeting between the families is called sang gyeon rae (상견례). For us, it was my husband, his parents, his sister, her husband, me, my parents, and my brother who came to the tasting. The chef came in and took our reviews and feedback of the food we tasted.
Menu and plate setting
Photo by: MARY Studio
For guests who come to the wedding, a meal is probably the most important part of the ceremony because it gives them a chance to interact with other guests. In Korean weddings, the meals are considered how couples and their family show appreciation for guests who came to the wedding to congratulate them. Not all, but many times a wedding ceremony that serves delicious and high quality food is considered a good wedding or wedding venue.
Step Two: Seu-Deu-Mae (스드메)
Selecting venues for wedding photoshoots, wedding dress rental, and hair and makeup are what follows. Seu-deu-mae (스드메) is a short form for studio (스튜디오), dress (드레스), and makeup (메이크업). Dress selection always takes place early in the process. There are so many dress rental shops to choose from for different price ranges. Once the dress brands are narrowed down to around three or four, dates are set to do a dress tour. A dress tour is a chance for the bride to try on different dresses from different brands she narrowed down. Usually, three dresses are selected to be worn for the photoshoot and two dresses for the wedding ceremony. However, I personally borrowed only three dresses–one for the photoshoot and two for the wedding ceremony. Fashion showing the wedding dresses on the dress tour, the couples are free to bring along friends or a few family members. I had my husband, my mother, my grandmother, my aunts, and friends tag along on different days of the tour.
Dress Tour
Dress and suits for the ceremony part. 2
Photo by: MARY Studio
Once the dress shop is decided, dresses are selected for the main ceremony and second part of the ceremony. Dresses for the second part of the ceremony are more casual, simpler, and more fun standing party dresses.
For the groom, one suit, tuxedo, and a smart casual suit for the second part of the ceremony for a total of three sets of suits are rented. But for my husband, only a tux and a smart suit for the ceremony were rented from a tailor brand.
Once the dresses and tuxes are settled, couples must choose a salon to do their hair and makeup. The two are most likely done in one salon, and that salon is where all the dresses will arrive on the day of the photoshoot and the wedding ceremony. Hair and makeup are done each time—once for the photoshoot and another for the ceremony.
Makeup and hair being prepared for the ceremony
Photo by: MARY Studio
On the big day, hair stylists and makeup artists ask them to arrive at the salon seven hours before the ceremony and the wedding venue asks them to arrive two hours before the start of the actual ceremony. For the photoshoot, the makeup has a more vibrant color palette so that it can still show in the printed photos later. However, on the big day, the makeup artists recommend going with less color and a more translucent style makeup.
The bride and groom are free to choose the salons and photo studios wherever they like, but wedding planners also help to provide recommendations. While the concept of the wedding photoshoot is ordinary with lots of dresses, tuxedos, suits, and wedding-related objects and mise-en scene, they can choose whatever concept they’d like. For our wedding photos, we went a different and unique route of Home Dating theme.
Our home date themed wedding photoshoot
Photos by: Artbuster Picture
After the shoot, the bride and groom select the photos to be framed which will arrive at the salon on the big day ready to decorate the photo table.
Next Step: Spoiler for the next article
In the next article of the wedding series, I will talk about more decisions that have to be made, such as choosing an officiant, congratulatory performers, person of congratulatory address, selecting background music, entrance music, exit music, and choosing designs for invitations. I will discuss these topics and their meanings with regards to my interpretation as a Korean and a person who planned and held a Korean wedding. The article following the next will look in depth of the more traditional events of dowry and its history.
To be continued…