Coming to Terms With Leaving the Fandom
Leaving a fandom can be a difficult process, especially if it’s one you're passionate about and have been a part of for a long time. When a K-Pop idol you've admired has been involved in problematic behaviors, you can feel blindsided by their actions. This month’s Fan Advice is going to focus on some tips that might help you to process this emotionally-charged change. Above all else, please remember to always give yourself grace throughout.
Never guilt-trip yourself over the situation
It’s easy to put the blame on yourself for having faith in a person but remember that it’s not wrong to believe in the innate goodness of someone. As fans, we aren’t responsible for the actions of the idols we admire and others shouldn’t blame fans for unknowingly enjoying their work. It’s normal to change your mind about someone when new information is presented. Reflect on the good memories you have from being part of the fandom and understand that it’s okay to cherish those moments while moving forward and not feel sorry about that past enjoyment.
2. Acknowledge and validate your feelings
It’s completely normal to feel a range of emotions, from disappointment and sadness to anger and confusion. Allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment and acknowledge that it's okay to feel conflicted because your admiration for the idol is being challenged by their actions. Acknowledging your feelings might also help you find healthy closure to the fandom.
3. Revisit your morals
Recognize that idolizing someone who has acted in a way that goes against your values can have a negative impact. Supporting problematic behavior indirectly endorses it which is why realizing that your decision aligns with your principles can provide clarity and peace in leaving the fandom. The decision to leave the fandom can be a form of standing by your beliefs. Supporting someone and being a part of a fandom is fun and exciting, but as the saying goes, always put your morals above entertainment. Holding idols accountable can send a strong message that you and the fandom expect better from the industry and that problematic behaviors shouldn’t be normalized and tolerated.
4. Seek support from fellow fans
One of the best things about being in a fandom is having a supportive community of people who share similar interests and sentiments as you most of the time. The friends you’ve made along the way can be a big support system during this difficult time. Reaching out to those who understand and are experiencing similar feelings can provide comfort and validation. Knowing that others are processing the same situation as you can be reassuring.
5. Logging off
Consider setting boundaries during this time to help you process and move on from the fandom. This could mean unfollowing the idols, unfollowing fan accounts and going offline for the time being to avoid triggering more negativity for yourself. Protecting your mental and emotional well-being during this time can help you rationally process your feelings.